Kronos Review

The 1950's were a hotbed for alien invasion science-fiction films. Some were good, some were not so good, and some were legendarily awful. One film from this era which might not immediately spring to mind is 1957's "Kronos," also known as "Kronos, Destroyer of Worlds." The film depicts an alien invasion on two fronts: an alien presence possesses the body of a government observatory director, while simultaneously a massive mechanical behemoth emerges on the coast of Mexico, dubbed "Kronos." Kronos begins a destructive rampage across the countryside, absorbing nuclear energy as it goes. The addition of the more intimate human element of the invasion vis a vis the possession is a strong counterpoint to the looming presence of Kronos itself, which has a unique and memorable design. The sense of the monsters' size is easily conveyed. The special effects are above-average for the time, as is the tightly-paced storyline. It is a shame that "Kronos" does not share the limelight with its contemporaries, as it is a fine example of science-fiction cinema, and demonstrates the strengths of the genre without overindulging itself overmuch. As evidenced by the recent surge of remakes, 1950's science-fiction maintains a strong presence in modern popular consciousness. There is a charm and sophistication to these films which does not seem to have been replicated in modern science-fiction. The moviegoers of yesteryear were perhaps more patient, more cerebral, or perhaps simply had a different set of standards for their viewing entertainment. Perhaps "Kronos" has more to teach a modern audience than one would expect.

The Island of Doctor Moreau Review

Are we not men? This is the question posed to us by the 1996 film adaptation of the classic novel "The Island of Doctor Moreau" by H.G. Wells. The story begins as United Nations functionary Edward Douglas (David Thewlis) suffers a shipwreck and is found by a man named Montgomery, (Val Kilmer) who takes him to the eponymous isle. It doesn't take Edward long to discover that the island is populated with hideous half-man half-animal hybrids, created by the brilliant yet twisted Doctor Moreau, here portrayed by an aged, corpulent Marlon Brando. Faster than you can say "four feet good, two feet bad," the animal-men revolt and the island descends into madness, owing to Montgomery and Edwards' actions. The main problem with the film is that it is simply boring to watch. The plot only seems to last for the first half, after which the film wanders around showing us random, sporadic scenes of violence hoping to somehow stumble back into its narrative structure. The acting is for the most part lethargic, and Thewlis in particular delivers a particularly narcoleptic performance. The only halfway decent performance in the whole film comes from Brando, but it is clear he is straining just to deliver a mediocre job. It's sad to see a once-shining talent reduced to such a state, spending most of the film clad in ridiculous makeup and downright silly costuming. Speaking of silly costumes, the animal-men's appearance is unconvincing and look better suited for a second-rate monster movie, which by the end of the film is what it has become. Overall, "The Island of Doctor Moreau" is yet another example of how a great literary classic can be turned into a great Hollywood joke.

The Spirit Review

The 1930's and 40's were rife with new and exciting heroes, including those pulp heroes. Among the most widely recognized of these heroes is the Spirit, a character created by famed comic book artist Will Eisner. The Spirit was a complex, multi-layered character whose adventures were many and varied. He captured the imagination and revolutionized comics as an art form. So what does Frank Miller's 2008 film version give us? A gritty-voiced pretty-boy who spends half the film narrating to a bunch of cats. Nice going, Frank. The eponymous character, played by Gabriel Macht, is a vigilante who is back from the dead, on the trail of the criminal mastermind known only as the Octopus, played by Samuel L. "I've had it with these motherf***ing snakes" Jackson. In the first ten minutes of the movie, we get a mud-spattered confrontation between the two, as the Octopus whacks the Spirit over the head with a toilet seat and loudly proclaims: "Toilets are ALWAYS funny!" These are the sort of lines we can expect from this film, as Miller treats neither the source material nor the audience's expectations with much respect. The film attempts a noir-ish tone, but it is ultimately lost inside the scarce narrative and heavily cartoonish atmosphere. Macht gives a decent performance, and might benefit from a script not written by Mr. Miller, whereas Jackson seems to be having the time of his life, hamming it up beyond even Shatner levels of overacting. One particular sequence near the end seems to evoke a certain style with which we are all familiar. All things considered, it is a fun movie to watch without the use of the higher brain functions. Just make sure you're in the mood for a cartoon, and not an actual film representation of the Spirit.

Cool World Review

Do you recall the film Who Framed Roger Rabbit, about people and cartoons interacting with each other? Imagine watching it after taking a massive injection of mind-altering drugs and you’d get Ralph Bakshi's 1992 head-trip known as "Cool World." Those familiar with Bakshi's work (Fire and Ice, Wizards) will know that odd, hyper-colorful animated opuses are right up his alley. Cool World, however, manages to descend to new depths of insanity, a feat which leaves the viewer both bemused and bewildered. Cool World opens with a young man from 1945 named Frank Harris (Brad Pitt) being forcibly pulled into the film's eponymous realm immediately following his mothers' death. The "Cool World" turns out to be a zany, nightmarish realm populated entirely by cartoons known as "doodles." Cut to the present day, where we meet comic book artist Jack Deebs (Gabriel Byrne), who is also pulled into the Cool World. Frank is soon on Jack's case, preventing him from forming a relationship with the voluptuous doodle Holli Would (Kim Basinger), spouting the immortal warning: "Noids do not have sex with doodles." The film is busy, and at all times the screen is clogged with cartoon animals and God knows what else clobbering each other senseless. It's easy to be overwhelmed by the films' aesthetic, and just as easy to be underwhelmed by the human element. The rotoscoping effects are done competently enough, but there's no real point to the film, it simply meanders around until reaching its conclusion. Coupled with Bakshi's trademark irreverence, you have yourself a real monster of a film. Despite this, the doodles' voices are rendered well enough, with veteran voice actors like Maurice LaMarche and Charlie Adler rounding out the cast. Overall, Cool World isn't so much "cool" as it is lukewarm.

D-War Review

As a young boy, I remember watching the first Godzilla film, the American version with Raymond Burr. That film was a finely-crafted tale of post-war trauma and fears of nuclear proliferation, but as a kid I merely wanted to see a big scaly monster blow things up. This same desire pervades the 2007 Korean giant monster epic "D-War," also known as "Dragon Wars." The prologue begins in 16th-century Korea, where a giant otherworldly serpent is attempting to find a young woman and sacrifice her to attain godhood. It's an intense CG-heavy segment, complete with armored demon soldiers, dinosaurs mounted with what can only be described as magical rocket launchers, flame-spewing drakes, and kung-fu of such potency that it is literally explosive. It's fun to look at, and the viewer is drawn in by the spectacle...for about fifteen minutes. It is at this point that the actual story begins, as we cut to present-day Los Angeles, where television reporter Ethan Kendrick (Jason Behr) seeks a young woman who is somehow connected with the return of the giant serpent. The second act largely consists of poor line delivery in barely-relevant scenes, occasionally punctuated by the appearances of a CGI serpent. It kills the pacing of the film. The actors are unconvincing and add little to the presentation. This is why the viewer is thankful when the third act of the movie arrives and the CG armies of evil invade Los Angeles, culminating in an epic mostly-CG smackdown in what appears to be the fortress of Barad-dur. It's certainly not "Godzilla vs. Destoroyah," but it's also not "Godzilla vs. Megalon." As an example of the recent surge in internationally successful Korean films, it shows a great deal of promise. In summation: better than one would expect, but nothing to write home about.

Atlantis: the Lost Empire Review

Claude Monet was a herald of the impressionistic movement. His water-lily paintings were beautiful to look at, but they appeared to be discombobulated blots if viewed too closely. Monet's artwork is a perfect analogy for Atlantis: the Lost Empire, a 2001 animated Disney popcorn flick with much more style than substance. Young Milo Thatch, (Michael J. Fox) a linguist whose theories on the lost city of Atlantis are ridiculed by the scientific community, realizes his dreams when his theories turn out to be correct. He joins a multi-ethnic expedition to the sea bottom to locate the lost city, which they find in a state of slow decay. Milo befriends the Atlantean princess Kida (Cree Summer) as they seek to restore Atlantis to its former glory. While the scenery and art style are unique and fun to look at, the movie leaves the viewer desperate for some substance to complement its style. The acting, while capable, hardly drives the viewers' interest, and the plot is a little too reminiscent of better films, particularly 1954's 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea or 1994's Stargate (and neither film was exactly a work of genius). At times, even the movie itself seems disinterested in its own plot, racing through informative scenes at a breakneck pace. Nowhere is this more clearly demonstrated than in a particular scene wherein Milo and the Atlanteans seem to almost instantly decipher each others' languages, with only a flimsy excuse provided to justify this incredible leap of faith on the part of the viewing audience. In summation: fun to look at, but not much else going on.